depression is eating into me. is it depression? i dont know. maybe it is just sadness, and a lot of disappointment. or maybe its just my selfish evil self that enjoys destryoinh itself and everything around it. i dont believe i am evil. i dont believe anyhting in me is evil. i believe i have given more than i could offer. crushed myself, my every feeling, my tears, my smiles, my every natural instinct to try and control myself. "me" ,"myself"...why is it not worth existing? if it isnt then it shouldnt. why should i have to mask it, control it? if i am not good enough for the world, why cant the world let it be so. why must i kill myself? i cry too much. i cry every day. i cry for reasons that are not reasons at all. or are they? arent they reason enough to me? is that not enough? why not? why cant these be enogh?